dominant hues are red and magenta. You love doing your own thing and
going on your own adventures, but there are close friends you know you
just can't leave behind. You can influence others on days when you're
patient, but most times you just want to go out, have fun, and do your
Your saturation level is very low - you have better
things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make
sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you
start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're
Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and
optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember
to tone it down if you sense irritation.
Ok, I've uploaded the most recent version of my self-sigil. I must be rather self-centered to even make one. I think it looks too blue, but that's the only color that looks compatible with violet, my new/old favorite color. Violet was my favorite color when I was a kid, before I switched to red. I still love red, but violet is better for me. This violet-on-blue sigil does not go AT ALL with my orange-red color scheme. Perhaps it's time to change the scheme.
The circle and all within it is my sigil for god. The eyes/dots show that god/me is perceptive and communicative... I added them after I had an experience communicating with a painting on a wall, gazing into her eyes for hours on end. The infinity symbol says god is infinite, the line down the center says god is finite, and the circle says god is nothing. The stuff outside the circle should be self explanatory, but I have the female symbol on top because I like girls better, and 'top' is commonly associated with 'better'. The whole thing looks rather like an anchor, which I don't object to, but I'll need to modify the sigil someday with an element that implies I can easily lift up the anchor and MOVE it. Oh, the Z, of my name, means weapon... I don't fight much, but having a weapon gives me a sense of security and power. Do I have a weapon? Hmm... *swings anchor around maniacally*
Apparently Max thought I loved him too much, while I just think it was a bad idea to have sex with him. Altho his name is Max, which is nostalgic from someone else, and he did show me how to cut my arm with a razorblade, and I am proud of my scar, so I do consider him a rather good friend, except that he never writes. And really, I might have sex with him again if he wanted to, except that this time he knows I can't keep secrets, and I know it too, which I didn't back then. Sorry Max. I probly did love him enough to say so, because I simply can't have sex with someone without loving them a little, I'm not built that way. But I don't love him on the same level with my real lovers, or my real friends. Not that he's not a real friend, it's just that... you know.
I just recently told Najalaise I love her over the phone. I think she said it back, but it was when we were about to hang up, and I can't remember things properly when they come right before an abrupt click of the reciever. Just so you know, Naja, you are in my 'real friends' category, but that includes a lot of love, and I want to march right up there and dig you an underground house. You really stimulate my nesting impulses. You don't fall into the 'real lovers' category, because... because perhaps Kat and Rachie are all I can easily manage. But I dunno, Naja calls me on the phone, and that's a big thing to me, even though it makes me totally uncomfortable. If she showed a serious sign of wanting to be my lover, she definitely would be, regardless of the number of girls I think I can handle.
Kat & Rachie, I love you beyond all comparisons, and definitely can't compare you to each other. I think Rachie loves orange juice because she's up in cold Canada and needs lots of vitamin C to function. I like blueberry juice better myself, altho that may be a fad. Kat, why the hell don't I write to you enough? You deserve my every effort, and I totally love hearing from you, my heart skips a beat sometimes. Ah well, I'll try harder. I wonder if Rachie has live journal.
Ok, I'm here, I'm here. I posted a comment, see? Heh, that new years resolution didn't work out too well, I was in jail & mental hospitals the whole year. Wait, I did get to kiss 3 girls, although one was a sneak-a-kiss. And I've had enough cock to last me a while. Damn, I need some pussy... although that sounds crude, and I really need more than that, I need a whole girl. Sigh. Oh, it looks like I might have re-established contact with Rachie, yay! Note to self, write to Kat again, she still knows hardly anything. This is my journal, right? Yeah, I cat write notes to self and stuff like that. Oh, grocery list: soy milk, cerial, whole & lowfat milk, bread, blueberries. I have food stamps, yay!